1 note
Donkey Punch of the Day: The internal monologue of the guy who guessed “what is Donkey Punch” as the question to an answer on tonight’s Jeopardy!: Hang on a minute, I know this one. It’s Donkey Punch! No, wait. That can’t be right, can it? I mean, there is no way the producers of this venerable game show would allow the answer to a question to be “Donkey Punch,” right? For gosh sakes, my Gam-Gam watches this show! (Note to self: Remember to flash Gam-Gam the secret sign we agreed on). Okay, you know what? Screw it. I’m just going to say it. I mean, what else could it be? Rabbit?
And the rest is history.
[mattchew03.]
The evil of Aries: How astrology can be sign of future jail time
Police in Chatham-Kent, Ont., announced Wednesday that, of 1,986 people arrested so far this year, 203 were Aries, whereas just 139 were Sagittarius.
It is the first time the municipality has ranked its crimes by Zodiac sign. Aries were the most arrested, with Libras in second at 189 arrests, and Virgo third at 183. The least criminal were Sagittarius (139 arrests), Aquarius (142) and Taurus (146).
“You can’t really read too much into it,” says Const. Michael Pearce, a police spokesman, who used an Excell spreadsheet to classify the data. “I don’t comment too much on the Zodiac stuff because I don’t want any backlash about it. I am not drawing any conclusions about it.”
Still, Georgia Nicols, who writes the National Post’s horoscope, said that the results in Chatham-Kent make some sense.
“Aries is the sign of the warrior,” said Ms. Nicols, speaking from her home on Bowan Island, off the coast of Vancouver. “Aries rules the military. Aries jump in head first, and love adventure. A lot of people in the newsroom are Aries.”
Sagittarius stays out of the crime stats, she suggests, because “They don’t get caught. They are smooth. They can talk anybody into anything.”Being on the Pisces/Aries border has never seemed so dire.